First off, let me say that I am not a therapist or a counselor. I am just a wife with a husband going off of personal experience. We always hear the stories about the Knight in Shining Armor coming to our rescue. When the King has to save and protect the Queen or the Prince must save the Princess, but what about when the Queen has to protect her King? It seems there is always that presumption that a man is supposed to protect the woman, listen to her, guide her, help her through her fears and doubts, and basically take care of her. Sometimes though, a man needs to be listened to, needs guidance and understanding, and someone to help them through tough times.
My husband travels often with his job, and has to deal with difficult people on a regular basis. He is very tough and independent, but sometimes life can take its toll. He will vent to me and tell me about the obnoxious people he has to deal with, and about the tough days he has. As a spouse, whether the husband or wife, it’s in our nature to want to protect them from anything and everything. You just want to hold them and make all of the bad stuff go away. Unfortunately, that’s not real life. We have to sit back, give them guidance and support, and hope that things will eventually get better for them. So what can you do as a wife or girlfriend to help your man through his tough times?
1.) Listen to what they have to say without giving your opinion. – Sometimes that’e easier said than done. You want to tell them how to fix it, what you would do, what they need to do, and so on. They aren’t asking for your opinion. They just want someone to listen to them vent, just like we do. We don’t expect our men to fix our problems. We just want them to listen to us vent, and we will fix it on our own. That’s all they want too. The last thing a man wants to hear is unsolicited advice. Just listen to what he has to say and offer your opinion and advice after and if he asks for it.
2.) Be patient. He may not be ready to talk about it. – My husband is not the most open person about problems he may be dealing with. Guys want to handle their problems on their own. I think talking about it may make them feel vulnerable, and guys don’t like that. So when he comes home quiet, or doesn’t talk much on the phone or email, don’t take it personal. Sometimes they are dealing with things from work or what not, and just don’t want to talk about it. Don’t pressure him. He will come around if and when he’s ready. Just give him your support, tell him you are there for him if he wants to talk, and give him a smiling face. He will come around.
3.) Talk about something positive. – If your man isn’t in the mood to discuss what’s bothering him, talk to him about your day or the kids or make plans for a hot date. Do what you can to keep his mind off of whatever is bothering him, and try not to stress him out more than he already is. Guys don’t like for things to drag on. Sometimes they may not want to talk about their problems at all. They may just want to come home, kick up their feet, and forget about their day. So plan a hot date out on the town, or even just a nice relaxing night in the house with movies, dinner, and some cuddle time. Get his mind off of everything else.
4.) All else fails – have some sex! – In my personal opinion, sex makes people happy. You see it in movies or read about it in books. You want to get a man’s mind off of whatever is bothering him, offer sex. You don’t even have to offer it. While he’s sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table, show up in the living room in a silky robe with lingerie. He will take one look at you, and the rest is history.
Men are not complicated creatures. They are just like us. They have wants and needs, bad days and good days, fears and doubts, and everything in-between. As a wife or girlfriend, it’s our duty to be there for our men the way they are for us. So take off all of his shiny armor, reveal the man underneath, and give him the love and support he needs. After all, it takes two to make a relationship work!